Are We Prepared for the Digital Playground? Navigating Parenting in the Age of Social Media and Technology

This week put my parenting skills to the test! The world we live in now is a far cry from the one I grew up in. With technology and social media evolving faster than a toddler on a sugar high, raising kids has become a real-life game of whack-a-mole. You have to be ready for the unexpected craziness that pops up every day, especially when you have a teenage girl in the mix! The digital world is great for learning and connection opportunities, but it also comes along with emotional, social, and daily challenges. Balancing these influences has me riding the struggle bus with a one-way ticket. I always talk about boundaries, but let's be real, when it comes to this topic, I'm about as calm as a rambunctious toddler. It's frustrating and exhausting!

Technology has changed how children learn, play, and socialize. Educational apps that we have used in the past have definitely been helpful, especially for our teenager who struggles with a learning disability. The use of technology in that regard is a life boat for her. I am not sure how I truly feel about some of the technology, as I worry that it takes away from her wanting to give the effort to truly learn the skill. However, as a parent do we want them to use the tools and gain confidence or lack the ability to complete the tasks thereby causing self esteem concerns?! None of these resources existed when I was growing up. I remember we relied on tutoring for guidance. I hated math, still do (I tell Tom that's why I have a shopping problem because I cant calculate what I spend......lol). My parents got me a tutor for math who came to the house and worked with me utilizing a pencil and graph paper. After that, it was sink or float on the next test and offers of extra credit, if necessary.

Starbucks social media after school 🤦🏻‍♀️

Then we come to the social media and general social communication aspects of technology. This is what really blows my mind. My daughter loves TikTok, Instagram and using her phone for these insane group chats. Dont get me wrong, I love seeing her socializing with friends but it’s attached to her. From the second she gets home she is on the phone with her headphones on; not to mention that sometimes the conversation is not entirely PG. In this case I do get involved. When I was 13, I was still playing barbies, yes you heard me correctly, and I also loved pretend play with my sister as well as creating shows for our famiy to watch. I had no cell phone, computer was dial up internet but just the web and I had to call my friends from the home phone plugged into the damn wall!

Back to my current dilemma, lately, she has had a lot of trouble waking up in the morning, I checked her phone and turns out she was on calls, texting, social media platforms till insane hours of the night. Like I said above, this week challenged us as parents......we spoke about it and decided that after 9pm there is no phone! Phew, we saw and heard the wrath of Ella, but in the end we stood our ground. Last night was night one and guess what? She woke her ass up this AM for school and didn't make the bus wait forever for her to pull herself together.

Trying to manage inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and stranger danger in today's app-crazy world is like being blindfolded in a maze. I do my best to keep up with the latest apps and tech, and I occasionally sneak a peek at her phone. But mostly, we have discussions about these issues, which she grunts and groans through but I hope she gets at least 1% of the information. She is so jumpy about strangers, she practically jumps at her own shadow—so I'm not too worried about her in that department. She's got her radar up for any shady characters. Peer pressure is real for our teenagers, and as parents, I personally feel that our job is to pump our kids full of values and confidence. I want her to stand her ground, support others, and stick to her gut. Do other parents agree? Anyone got other tricks for teens and technology?

Then there is our toddler, who I feel like we have gathered data from our teenager and now choosing to maybe do somethings differently. Listen, first child is always the one that is the experiment, for lack of a better term. I was the oldest and yes, no doubt I was the experiment. My sister and brother reaped the benefits of my trials and errors. Anyway, we have made the continuous decision not to get an iPad for our 4 year old. Ella definitely had one by this time and if your child does, to each their own. We know the wars that we had over the use of the iPad as well as the full blown breakdowns and just weren't up for that side show at this time.

YouTube in moms bed before bedtime on the weekend

Don't get me wrong, this 4 year old is a master of the Apple TV, remotes, and has a YouTube addiction that rivals most teenagers. We do our best to limit screen time, but let's be real, sometimes we just need a breather! (didn't mean to rhyme! ) We've got a hardcore no-TV-before-school policy because, trust me, it turns into a battle to get him out the door on time. TV privileges only kick in once the Pre-K homework is tackled, yes he has Pre-K homework.

On a separate note, what's the deal with YouTube?! I can't, for the life of me, figure out why my kid wants to watch other kids play with trucks when he's got a truckload of trucks, blocks, and toys right there in the living room! We always pick out the show with him to make sure it's appropriate, but as I scroll through, I can't help but chuckle at the absurd and somewhat bizarre "acting" of these families. The behavior, language, and lack of respect in a lot of these programs are just ridiculous, even on YouTube Kids! Do you limit screen time and the use of different viewing apps? I'm a big fan of the Disney app and try to steer him towards that, but is it worth the constant battle?

Discovery channel time before bed…..we try to get away from YouTube all the time.

Parenting these days is like being lost at sea —especially when life throws in some extra curveballs. For me, my health issues have turned me into a part-time parent with full-time guilt. Some days, I'm just too tired to argue, and my teenager has fully figured out this weakness. She's been coming to me with requests more often, thinking that I am the easy parent. If I let her get away with it, she'll be running the place by next Tuesday. Between the tech gadgets and life's chaos, I feel it’s my responsibility to set a good example for our kids—because they're watching us like hawks. Hard to do all day everyday and a lot of the time I find myself loosing my shit, but the effort is what counts right?!

On a completely unrelated and not-so-happy note, for those curious about my health, it's like a bad sitcom—laughably awful. Honestly, there's not much to say beyond that. I'm doing my best impression of a clumsy penguin, tumbling around even with a cane, and I'm in pain 24/7. Next week, I'm off to see the Immunity Doctor, and then it's a week-long extravaganza of 18 tests at the Mayo Clinic in March. Living with constant pain, the inability to walk, and sporting rashes like they're the latest fashion trend has definitely given my mental state a run for its money. I'm still trying to keep my chin up and stay in the moment, but come late afternoon, I crash harder than a toddler after a sugar high. I just have to keep on truckin', and I genuinely appreciate all the love and support.