Your life: sometimes the vision isn’t the reality

Social media these days is like a beauty pageant for our lives, where everyone’s strutting around with their best filter and a smile that says, “Look at me, I’m living my best life!” Meanwhile, my reality is more like a sitcom where the laugh track is on a permanent loop. Sure, I might not be posting the chaos of my sock drawer or the epic battle with my laundry, but let’s face it, my depiction of life is reality—more like a horror film with a few plot twists!

My brain is basically a hyperactive GPS on a wild adventure in a reality show where the director lost the plot! I live for well-marked maps and itineraries with perfectly plotted destinations. And if I have to deal with this nonsense, I would really love some analytics and possible solutions, please! But right now? I’m staring at pure mayhem with no punchline in sight! It seems like the entire universe forgot to give me the cheat sheet for the whirlwind of chaos in my life, and let me tell you, it’s enough to make a grown woman scream! Being lost with no one having a clue how to steer me back to sanity? It’s a real shocker, especially since I thought our medical system was cutting-edge! My vision has been since proven to be inaccurate, sadly.

This week has been a comedy of errors! I found myself tumbling into a laundry basket – I swear, you couldn't script this stuff! After screaming to the husband for “Help!” and shedding a few tears (which totally makes me a laundry basket diva), all I could do was laugh. I was face down in the laundry because my knees and elbows decided to just give up. Really, what the heck?! It sounds like something out of a movie.

The toughest part? My kids saw the whole spectacle. I've been trying to keep them away from these rough moments because, they’re only young once! The cake topper this week were the visual hallucinations—I was, convinced my son was hanging out in my office. I got all chatty until I glanced away, turned back, and poof! He had vanished! No shit Alexis, he was at school—but in my mind, it felt so real. So, time to see a neurologist about the sarcoidosis affecting my brain, just the magical experience I’ve been looking for, who needs Disney?!

The key mission this week is to avoid the hospital. I think my immune system got a little too relaxed on the plane home from the Mayo Clinic and caught a virus like it’s some kind of parting gift. Seriously, no good deed goes unpunished, Today I got bloodwork and swabs, trying to find out why I’m coughing like a 90s cartoon villain and breathing like a chain smoker. I hope the docs can sort out this breathing drama at home—mentally, I can't handle another hospital stay! Sure, I’ve become a pro at packing my hospital bag, but with the holidays around the corner, the only thing I want to pack in is time with my family!

I’m definitely feeling that Jewish guilt for missing my kids' holiday shindigs, national softball showdown, and being a total Spirit Week flunky. It's like I'm in a competition for the worst mom award! I turn, I’m cranking up the effort—to eat more like a rabbit in an attempt to decrease the swelling in my body, getting vitamin IV infusions at home, loading up on zinc (because why not?), and shuffling around like a 90 year old woman walking the mall in the mornings. Not exactly the memories I envisioned for 2024, but I am learning that reality is what we’ve got to roll with, one day at a time!

I might not have a road map guiding my way right now, but I’ve got an amazing husband, kids who I adore but can sometimes resemble tiny tornadoes, a family that doubles as a comedy club, and friends who are true superheroes in disguise. So, let’s be real—while everyone else is crafting their picture-perfect lives on social media, I’ve got my own messy masterpiece. I mean, living in the present? Way easier said than done, but it’s on my to-do list! I will continue to work on focusing in the moment, tackle what’s in front of me, be real about my feelings, as I navigate this  storm that my steroid bloated fat ass is navigating through. Show your true colors; no fluff, no fibs, just the raw, unfiltered you; it’s so much more refreshing and one important thing I’m working on is never apologize for things you cannot change! Don’t let others make you feel less than your true self because of the battle you are fighting. See and act on the reality, facts…..be emotional, everyone knows my ass is, but don’t let that make you weak!

Most importantly, don’t forget the elf on the shelf and Mench on a bench….. get those little shits magically moved every night…… it’s worth the smiles in the AM!