Falling: The height of the fall matters greatly

The title of this blog has both a literal and a figurative meaning, and you'll get the jist of what I mean as you read on.

I’m really grateful I got to spend Valentine’s Day at home with my kids, instead of being stuck in the hospital! Helping them get ready the night before to swap cards and candy at school was such a blast, sharing smiles. The highlight was definitely watching their faces light up in the morning when they discovered the Valentine goodies from me and my husband. I've come to appreciate these little moments and really cherish them!

My loves on Valentine’s Day!

This week was just like the others, packed with doctor appointments, three MRIs, a Bone Density Scan, physical therapy, home nurse visits, and blood tests. I get that all these tests are important, but honestly, they’re really wearing me down. Soon I will glow from all the damn radiation, and not in a use of ELF bronzer way! Every result seems to come back with negative results, which just complicates things more when it comes to figuring out a treatment plan. It feels like I’m falling (figuratively) deeper into a dirty ass rabbit hole! I continue to rely on the experts and also sending my test results to the Mayo Clinic in preparation of my upcoming visit to MN. The struggle is real, but trying to staying calm and keeping a positive mindset as often as possible is the best way to help in the creation of a medical plan. I am also doing my own research in order to best advocate for myself….. taking ownership of my body and mind moving forward!

My son was under the weather this weekend, so I went to check on him while he was asleep on the couch. I didn’t bother with my walker or back brace (yeah, I know, not the smartest move), and as I turned to head back to my room, BAM, my fat ass tripped over a couch pillow. I went down like a sack of potato’s right on my knees and immediately felt an intense pressure in my back, exactly where my compression fracture is located in my spine… I was stuck on the hard wood floor. Luckily, my husband was around to help; I definitely learned my lesson about using my walker, no matter how short the distance. We talked to my orthopedic doc and came up with a plan to manage the pain from home until my appointment on Tuesday, which is a relief because I really didn’t want to end up in the hospital yet again! For now, I’m moving even less than before, which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are.

I’m not that old yet but shit it feels and appears my body is ancient!

Struggles can be tough, but as Oprah Winfrey said, “Where there is no struggle there is no strength.” I’m going through a rough patch right now, but I try hard to believe that once I get through this, the strength I gain will help me and my family for a long time!

As I meander down this bumpy road, hoping to find my way back to some kind of normalcy, I've really come to appreciate the value of kindness and reserving judgment. The truth is, everyone has their own struggles to deal with each day, and we all cope in our own unique ways. Jumping to conclusions and tossing aside compassion doesn’t help anyone. Instead, let’s aim to be the reason someone can smile.

Can’t wait till outdoor tournaments start…. At least I can sit my fat ass in a chair while watching my daughter pitch! Outside activities should hopefully get me out of the house and taking to people again! #gorageLI

I am grateful to have a good support system. These amazing people don’t judge me; they genuinely care about me, my husband, and our kids. Their regular check-ins, rides to appointments, help with the little ones, constant texts/calls/memes and thoughtful meals really lift my spirits and put a smile on my face. Huge thanks to those who choose kindness over judgment and negativity, even when it’s difficult. Your kindness means the world to those of us who are going through a challenging chapter in our story.

My husband is the real trooper! Everytime I fall he picks me up, literally and figuratively 🥴🤣😘

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche